Accountantland

Redacted :)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Listen

Slow down and take the time to listen, really listen.  Maybe it's taking time to sit down with a song you've heard a thousand times and really, deeply, listen to it. Really hear the words, the meaning. Maybe learn the story behind it. 
Read more

Summer Reading

It's so simple, really.  I took the kids that I nanny to the library to sign them up for the summer reading program, thrilled that both have a love of reading and honored to foster the joy of reading.  The way their program works is the child gets rewarded for time spent reading. To mark this, you get to put different beads onto a necklace. The beads represent units of time, and each bead gets bigger and better with each increment. The 15-minute beads are small and basic; the 4-hour beads are large and animal shaped, etc.  I took this to mean, for example, you could choose 4, 15-minute beads or 1, 1-hour bead, and that was that. However, the librarian explained to the kids that if they decided they wanted to trade in, say, 4 small beads for the one-hour bead, that was fine. All summer long, they could trade beads as their minds and tastes changed.  As this trivial information hit me, I reflexively flinched, thinking about how this whole scenario would have gone in my...
Read more

Alien?

I wish I were human. I try so hard to be. I don't understand emotions; mine are ALWAYS wrong. 'Wrong.' I desperately don't understand what you people want from me. "Feel your feelings!" But when I do, I'm called weak, or it's assumed I'm melting down, or someone gets PISSED. If I keep my emotions buried deep, where I prefer them, where I can pretend they don't exist, I'm weird, or closed off, etc. Honestly, tell me what to feel, and I'll fake it. I will. It's just easier. I hate being me; I hate that my brain never shuts off; I hate that my anxiety is a medieval prison/torture chamber where I am worried- ice cold, panicked, worried- at LITERALLY all times, even when I sleep. I'm always tired. I'm autistic, I'm neurodivergent, and being near normies makes me exhausted. And hey, I'm masking 99% of the time anyway, so if you need me to fake the 'correct' emotion, I will. Whatever it takes to get through the day....
Read more