DJ - Version II

I used to like you.
Not just the
character you played.
I wanted to be you
or her.
You both
were my idol

I would've 
settled for being 
your sister or friend.
Maybe I could've been
your other best friend
living next door 
on the other side
of your grey mansion
with the bright red door.
I would've been the
politest guest 
and perfect confidant. 

You, who had eveything
everywhere you looked.
I would've given 
anything
for your father
who never yelled,
who understood. 
Or your uncles,
who were honored
to let 
their entire lives
revolve around you.

You had the best clothes
and the best hair.
Perfect grades
and a room I've been
jealous of for
decades. 
Plus handsome boyfriends
I could 
only dream of.

I wrote my college essay
about you.
The letter that got me 
accepted to my university
was about you,
your influence,
and how nuch 
you meant to me.

But now I hate you 
and love her.
And not for the
reasons you would think.
You damn 
all of us
and are 
complacent. 
I know you're
separate,
but, wow.

My reverence should've been
directed 
elsewhere,
at the middle.
To an ally.
A fighter.
A hero.











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