DeSimone

"Holy shit, why is one of my grandfather's mugs missing!?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mounted my dead grandfather's irreplaceable, Giovanni DeSimone original, very-valuable,  and deeply sentimental mugs to the kitchen wall, and one is gone!"

"Oh, I used it."

"You fucking what!?"

"Jesus, it's a mug that was in the kitchen, so yeah, I used it. And before you get pissier, it's in the dishwasher."

"Those are not dishwasher safe, you fuckwad! And those mugs are wired to the hooks they're on! I spent like an hour mounting them so they couldn't be moved or used; what the shit?" 

"Well, sorr-y." 

"Oh yeah, you fucking sound it." 

"Christ. Guess I can't make a mistake or use a mug in my house?"

"As always, you're missing the goddamn point! And all your grandparents are alive, and fuck you! You don't understand!" 

"It's a cup, so fuck you." 

"It's a precious, inherited mug! And what about it being wired to the fucking wall made you think, 'Yes, I should definitely use this.' We have an entire cabinet full of worthless mugs that are cheap and replaceable!"

"For fucks sake."

"Yeah, exactly. That was idiotic."

"So was marrying you."

(Pause)

"Shit, I'm sorry I said that. Oh, fuck."

"I'm not sorry you said it. I feel that way too."

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