Two Sisters Speak

Very different sisters occupy a living room in a modest house on the West coast. The older is sitting in an armchair, deep in thought while preoccupied with her top-of-the-line iPhone. The younger is stretched out on the couch, absentmindedly braiding a small strand of hair.


Sadie- I think you can tell a lot about someone by which Ninja Turtle they identify with. 


Piper- What are you, seven?


Sadie- What are you, a pompous ass?


Piper- Haha.


Sadie- I'm serious.


Piper- Yeah, me too. 


Sadie- Ugh, climb down off your high horse. Let loose a little. Stop acting so--


Piper- Don't say it!


Sadie- Fucking old!


Piper yanks the heavy pillow out from behind her back and throws it at Sadies face, and the two sisters dissolve into laughter. 


Sadie- Don't hate me because I'm sixteen and a half years younger than you. 


Piper- Sixteen and a half years. I had a great run being the only child.


Sadie- Too bad it took Mom and Dad so long to realize you weren't adequate for them. 


Piper- You're lucky I'm out of stuff to throw at you. 


Sadie- I'm lucky I'm so youthful, with not a single grey hair.


Piper- Simple Sadie. Still the worst. 


Sadie- Petty Piper. But seriously, what Ninja Turtle do you identify with? 


Piper- Sadie, get real. 


Sadie- What, fancy dentists can't possibly humor their younger sisters?


Piper- That's not- you're missing the p--


Sadie- Piper, you're home for a while; relax. Your paper for the Dental Dickheads of Denver or whatever conference can wait like ten minutes. Talk to me.


Piper- Fine. 


Sadie- Great conversation. 


Piper- For the love of f- okay, what do you want to discuss?


Sadie- What Ninja--


Piper- Jesus, Sadie! I don't know which--


Sadie- It's Leo. The blue one. He was your favorite. 


Piper- Oh. Oh, yeah. Wow, that takes me back. I'd totally forgotten. How'd you know?


Sadie- You were in college when Mom gave me all your old Turtle stuff. It was great if not a bit too Leo-heavy.


Piper- Aw. I really did like them back when I was y- when I was little. That feels like forever ago.


Sadie- Welllll...


Piper- Jerk. Anyway, who's your favorite Ninja Turtle, then? Or who do you identify with?


Sadie- Both are Michaelangelo. Pizza, having a good time, always letting the good vibes flow. 


Piper- Sometimes I think life would make more sense if you had been a California hippie or some 80s surfer dude. 


Sadie- Cowabunga, Piper.

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