Author of the novel WHEN YOU LOSE CONTROL

Five years ago, I saw GNR at Gillette Stadium. I never in my wildest dreams thought it would happen. I cried a few times- partially from shock, partially from excitement, and partially because they were phenomenal.  Tonight, I saw them again at Fenway Park. They were just as good, if not better. Axl sounded incredible and Slash is the greatest guitarist of all time- a hill I will happily die on.  I've been to many concerts- I've seen Bob Dylan, James Taylor, The Monkees, Billy Joel, Bruce Springsteen, but I have to say GNR takes the cake. They're just electric. They transcend time, you feel like you're just in their music. Amazing. I'm so thankful for tonight. 

My best friend recently bought a church that was built in 1834. It is a stunning building filled with old New England architecture and history. Today, she gave me and my parents a detailed tour. I was excited for many reasons, one of which was the bell. The bell in the steeple tower is said to have been created by an apprentice of Paul Revere. I had a vivid memory of seeing the bell on my first ever visit to the building. I remembered ringing it by pulling on a very long, thick rope, and looking up to see the underside of the silver bell. My father is obsessed with history, so I knew he'd be as thrilled as I was to see the bell. I asked my friend when we got there, when we could see the bell. She cocked her head to one side, "You can't see the bell. You have to open a false panel, then shimmy through a crawl space, then climb up a narrow tower." "Wait, what?" was my confused reply. My friend repeated herself. I stood there with my mouth open. "What abou...

As I've mentioned many times on all my social media, I'm obsessed with Drag Queens. Some of my favorites are the legends Trixie and Katya.  On their YouTube show, UNHhhh, they'll often say something like "Listen, Mary," or "Sure, Brenda." Other names they've used include Barbara, and of course, Deborah.   The name use is a running gag and they'll use it in a funny and mocking way. Yesterday I called out, "OKAY, DEBORAH!" When I got cut-off in traffic. I forgot two small kids were in the car. "Who's Deborah?" "Do you know that woman in the car?" "Is her name Deborah? Howdya know?" "Is she your friend?" Oops. I started laughing, which lead to a chorus of, "What's funny? Is Deborah funny? Did she do something funny?" I laughed some more. I couldn't tell the kids that instead of my Deborah comment, I had wanted to yell,  "WHAT THE FUCK, ASSHOLE!" I laughed some more bef...

Mental health was not talked about when I was growing up Catholic(ish) in the '90's. (I am NOT Catholic now, and never identified as such, even when it was forced on me.) When I had my first panic attack at age five, I had no idea what the fuck was happening. I didn't have the words to explain what was happening. Until I was twenty-two, I suffered up to ten major panic attacks every day.  Imagine spending almost two decades believing you're crazy, feeling constantly terrified, having trouble breathing, and having no explanation, information, or solace. Imagine being five and thinking that was just life- constantly panicking to the point of getting physically sick.  I bring all this up to highlight what an utter inspiration Simone Biles is. The courage she had to muster to do what she did. If I had seen a young woman do something like that when I was a kid? Maybe I could've saved myself years of torment. Simone, at the end of the day, is human. And I'm in awe tha...

I've been thinking of something Fred and George Weasley call out in movie four a lot lately- "You don't know what you're doing!" It applies to a lot of people. Myself included.  Note- while I love Harry Potter, I hate JKR. I find, among other things, her anti-trans sentiments to be unspeakably vile and cruel. 

I know my novel is good and I know people would read it. I know it's an important story that's contemporary and multi-layered. I know it can be cross-marketed as literary, book club, and romance.  I've been querying my debut novel for 42 days. I've sent out 41 queries. I have heard back from 8 agents, all rejections. Honestly though, I feel like some of these responses are from places that don't actually read the query, but who knows. I know that I am more likely to be struck by lightning and win the lottery than to have overnight success with my novel. I know that it's important to get used to hearing 'no' and to never give up.  With all that said, I keep thinking of the Ted Lasso quote, "it's the hope that kills you." I have so much hope for my book, for publication, and my dream to read my novel at my local Barnes and Noble. But sometimes that hope hurts, physically hurts, because it's 'just' hope and not reality.  To make my...

I've never done drugs and I don't drink or smoke. The highs I crave come from bargains. My maternal grandmother would have 20 gold medals if bargain shopping were an Olympic sport. She taught the importance of stretching your money to my mother, and it's the one thing my mother passed on to me that wasn't cruel or abusive. While other people seek out name brands at full price or the seasons newest trends, I'm happiest when I'm at a thrift store, flea market, or the like.  Do I love designer labels? Hell yeah. Do I love the price? Gross. Give me Michel Kors, Calvin Klein, Tommy Hilfiger, or Ralph Lauren, but give me last seasons stuff or the factory outlet steals. Once, when scouting the shelves of the L.L. Bean cleanace rack, I came across a gorgeous pair of blue and purple suede boots. They had an original price tag of $199. They were on the 'last chance!' rack for $10, but had a yellow sticker, which meant an extra 50% off the lowest price. I nearly cr...