Author of the novel WHEN YOU LOSE CONTROL

"You don't have to come in till 12:30." "Right, because it's Thursday." "What?" "On Tuesdays and Thursdays I work at 12:30. We made this schedule in September." "Really?" "Yeah, that's what Nora said." "She probably told me, and I forgot." "Uh, okay." "Sorry I forget so much; I wasn't exactly interested in keeping all my brain cells back in the day." My mouth formed a half-smile, and I had to force myself not to question, 'Back in the day?' as I remembered when Trey left his 'supplies' out, a stash big enough to make a frat boy blush.

"Throw out that t-shirt; it's holey. And ugly." "But I like it; I've had it a long time." "I'll get you another one, one that isn't falling apart." "That's not the point--" "The point is that shirt is raggedy, and you're not. I really hate that shirt." "It's just a t-shirt." "Then throw it out." "I don't want to." "Why? I really don't understand." "Can we drop it? I like it, big deal." "It is a big deal; that t-shirt is trash, so throw it out. It makes me uncomfortable." "You probably shouldn't let a shirt bug you so much." 

Everything is thought over. And over. And over. And over. And over.  That word I tripped over months ago. A laugh that was ill-timed. ND misunderstandings and silly insecurities. If I'm good enough.  Not enough. Too much. It's a shadow you want to rid yourself of but can't. It's waxy and haunting. Scares you. Too much. It's the big things, the little things.  Past traumas that keep their stabbing grasp. You're the best you've been, the strongest, the most confident, so why this...curse? Anxiety can't shut off like a tap; that ice hold remains. Breathe and let go. You've gotten better every day. Keep going. Shed the wrongs. 

"What a gift from Above, that fate brought you to each other, true love and true kindness, when you both needed it most. You are truly so lucky to have each other right now. There is only now...just be with each [other] in the present and be so glad to not be alone."   I am lucky indeed. Rich in beloved people. 

Brassica oleracea  Vegetable  Relatives to broccoli, collards, and kale  Cool-weather crop, Botrytis Group Heads and leaves and stems  Brassicaceae, The mustard family Annual plant, production by seeds  White curd, i nflorescence meristem  Flower buds  Cole crops  Cultivar groups 

Don't trust me with directions. It will not bode well. It will result in much gas being used and much time being added to the trip. Even my, "I'm positive this is right!" Is more often than not, left. Navigation isn't for me. 

It's that simple.  It's everything. It's a laugh, a coffee. It's tires, an old album. It's always.