Author of the novel WHEN YOU LOSE CONTROL

I marvel at you, mother, for the copious naps you took. Your refusal to hug or play, or even share a book. I marvel at the table; covered, covered in drugs- you loved them while I got apathy, ignored, yelled at, cold shrugs. I marvel at the gaslighting  and being told I was dramatic. Wouldn't it have been nice, to be loved? Even just a little love, not anything emphatic! I marvel at the evil and the ugliness you spew. The ghastly, the deathly white, the cruelty in everything you do. I marvel at the idiocy, your attempt at scapegoat child. Your pathetic cry of victim, reality not something you've reconciled.  Still, I marvel at my strength,  that in spite of you I thrive. That I am full and wonderous and despite you, I survive! 

Gross indifference  Makes a difference  In all the wrong ways 

Will it be a good  night of history, awards? The ninety-fourth year.

It's been more than a Month now. Modern war horrors. I can't see an end.

Perhaps it is time to write the next one, as they say in the movie Tick Tick Boom.  Perhaps I am starting. 

I wasn't overly sensitive. I didn't deserve to be gaslit or told I was a bitch.  I was never dramatic or fidgety. I was a CHILD.  I deserved adults who gave a shit, or hugs, or support, of god forbid, some goddamn encouragement and love! I will never forgive you for never being able to give any of those things. However, I am at peace with it, because I fucking love me and think I'm awesome and you are the one(s) missing out.  I am the one who overcame, rose from the ashes, rose from unbearable depression and was reborn with all my diagnoses - vindicated and free and better than ever. It was, and is, ADHD and GAD and SPD and hyperlexia and social anxiety and autism spectrum disorder and my being neurodivetgent. I feel sad for you. I feel ecstatic for me.

At a bake sale, we raised $550 for Ukraine. All the money will go to buying a backpack filled with medical supplies, and the leftover money will be donated, all of which benefits Sundlowers of Peace.  💙Ukraine Forever💛