Author of the novel WHEN YOU LOSE CONTROL

 "I don't know what it is like to not have deep emotions. Even when I feel nothing, I feel it completely." -Sylvia Plath It's the nauseously repeated story of I can't keep up because I'm autistic. It's the shock at the accusal that I care about shit that doesn't matter. It's the putting on a fake smile because not showing my best side at all times leads to fights. Dismissals. It's the probably stupid at this juncture in my life shock (should  all that be hyphenated?) of trying so hard and putting in so much effort that no one appreciates. What did I expect? I put my heart and soul into a job, and it's either ignored or exploited, or I'm told point-blank that it doesn't matter. And people get mad that I feel bad for doing something for naught. Why am I the bad guy here? I love the Twilight Zone, but I didn't want to live in the fucking thing!  It's what feels like a noose, the constant constant of being misunderstood. I expla

Gaslit at her convenience Because it's her She's everywhere, everyday Her slimy sludge has stuck But why her? And never the others before her? The others were important at a time, no? It's her. Always.  At my inconvenience No amount of begging or tears  Has made the cockroach go I'm dismissed Told it's in my head or not that bad Crushed with utter invalidation  An evil that's said twice it doesn't value your life Twice. Once was bad enough to imagine But I've watched it happen Twice. So I cry and feel like trash Try to rinse Repeat. 

Almost nothing pisses me off more than tardiness. It is so rude. It tells others that you have no respect for their time. It tells others that your time is more valuable than theirs. It is such dickish behavior. And fine, sometimes shit comes up where you're going to be late due to circumstances out of your control. So fucking text, call, email, messenger pigeon, etc the person(s) you're going to be late meeting. That is the least, most basic, politeness 101, thing you can do. Don't be an asshole.